Are you Experienced ? Have you ever been experienced? Well, I have. – Jimi Hendrix

Glamping in Paradise?

From the pictures it looked like my style of camping. Solid floor, soft bed WITH linen, table, chairs, standing room and bug screens.

So I drove up to Whistler to experience these “rustic” yurts for myself. They seemed ideally situated. Far away from the highway, on platforms on a side of a hill. Magnificent views. When I arrived at 4pm all was quiet except for the faint hum of traffic from the 99. I fancied I could even hear the babbling brook. Granted I had to scale a fair sized hill, albeit with stairs, to get to and from the biffy, but that was a minor consideration. At least the facilities had hot and cold water PLUS flush toilets. Life was good.

And then reality….

The Bed

At least until we went to bed. It was a 2 tier bed, double on the bottom, single on the top. Turns out the bed was a cheap IKEA knock of a real alpine bed. Which meant that no one over 150 pounds could sleep up there because the slats were only hanging onto the edge of the bed by a mere 1/4 inch on each side. One heavy person in the middle and the whole base and mattress would come tumbling down. Now, dear friends, you know I’m no light weight and the 2 men in my family clearly would exceed that limit. So, luckily, there was a very lumpy futon for the men to sleep on.

Being the Diva I am, I simply cannot sleep on a futon. My futon sleeping days have loooong passed.

Sleeping arrangements complete, we settled in for a quiet, restful night’s sleep.

The Noise

I remembered why I’m not a camping person – the noise. The noise from other campers, the noise from trains going by, the noise from other campers ripping past your tent in big trucks. Plus next to the yurt was the resort spa, which the staff came and went from all night. Then there was the police car sirens in the middle of the night. I was longing for my nice quiet bed back in East Van. We never have to put up with this sh*t there! So I put in my ear plugs.

Snoring!

Finally sleep found me only to be jolted awake by husband’s snoring. Big, colossal bear snoring.

SO loud it woke me despite my ear plugs firmly being wedged in my ears. What proceeded to happen was me periodically getting out of bed, crossing the floor to tickle his nose and getting back into bed only to have to repeat it for the next hour. Then it got bloody cold. So, up again, drag my husband’s huge back pack out of the way, knocking over water bottles, and turning on the heater. Back into bed.

Cruel light of Day

Awoke again, this time it was light out, to bro-in-law knocking on the door wanting to go to breakfast.

I was very grumpy. But I had a day at the spa ahead of me so life wasn’t all bad.

Well, yurt experience completed.  Not to be repeated!