“I think I’m having a hot flash,” I casually said. “Does it feel like your face is on fire,” inquired Agent I. “Yes”. “Well then, that might very well be a hot flash.” She replied.
And so it begins
Yikes, a hot flash! Could this be my official entry into menopause?
In retrospect, I think I’ve been having hot flashes during the night for a couple of weeks. I’d wake, feeling like I was burning with fever. Off came the covers and the next thing I know I’d wake up freezing.
On Saturday, I had some wine which started my face burning as well. NOOOOO! Don’t tell me the wine is out the window!?! If that’s the case, the real whining will begin.
Research is Required
So, in order to get whatever information I can, I go to the “old woman of the village”: Google.
There are a number of sites that offer solutions, lots that offer “supplements”. But what will really help? I head to a government health and the Mayo Clinic site. It will be conventional treatment type of information but the basics will be there.
So here’s what I’m in for:
- Painful sex
- Hot flashes
- Possible osteoporosis
- Intermittent menstrual cycles
- The need to pee often
In other words, a whole lotta of ups and downs and NOT of the sexual variety.
What’s a girl to do?
So what the heck can I do to make this hot flash thing bearable? (Whoa – another flash coming on – give me a minute).
Apparently there are a few things I can do to help myself.
Exercise
So the fates once again step in and force me into that exercise thing. If one exercises, it not only helps with the flash thing but helps prevent heart disease and osteoporosis – 2 things that can come on as estrogen is lost. Apparently yoga can help because of the deep breathing and deep stretching. But don’t worry, I don’t intend to start hanging out in yoga pants and chanting.
I’m going to find a personal trainer again. There’s a Russian man who advertises a program that gives you muscle and works off 30 pounds in 6 weeks for an exorbitant sum of money. We’ll see about that. Otherwise there is my local fitness joint who are much more reasonably priced and just as close by. As long as there’s someone to kick my ample posterior, I’ll exercise regularly.
Eat my Supplements
Phytoestrogens are the latest buzz word in non-chemical therapy. So I’ll have to eat a lot of soy, chickpeas and lentils. This is doable. Vitamin E and D are recommended. D is good for bones and keeping the Big C away. Agent I says she has good luck with Black Cohosh so I’ll check that out with Doc C, the naturopath.
Lose Weight
Damn. The need to release the poundage from my hips and thighs seems to be a prevalent preventative measure for nearly every disease I read about. Whether it’s preventing cancer or hot flashes, it’s clear my free ride has come to an end. Well, I could go on and suffer the consequences but it won’t be very pleasant in the end. Might as well save my big fights for more important things, like getting my son to do dishes.
Have more sex
Apparently if there’s heat on in the bedroom, my vaginal walls will stay flexible. Who knew? This one I will be able to do, no problem.
Here we go……
It seems my body has officially ushered me into middle age. Damn.
On the bright side, it doesn’t mean I have to act my age and maybe my nickname can be The Flash!
Zoom – Zoom – Zoom
(Here’s a link to the Big Bang Theory scene with Sheldon as the Flash – Enjoy)
The 4 Flash