A Call from a Friend

I got a call from a long lost friend.   It was perfect timing, I had just come in the door.

As soon as I heard his voice, I knew who it was. Agent J. I hadn’t heard from him in over 5 years, maybe more. And there he was on the other end of the line calling from the other side of the world.

He and I have been friends for decades. Not bosom buddy types but the kind that when we get together it’s like we just saw each other last week. His dad and my dad were buddies which is how we became friends.

Connect to his History

Agent J had just lost his last living parent. “I just needed to talk to someone who knew them and me,” he said.

I understood what he meant.

He’d lost both his parents and now needed to connect to people who had been constants in his life. Those he and his parents had history with.

People he didn’t need to fill in the blanks for. They just knew him, knew who he was, where he came from.

No need to explain

I get that feeling when I go home to Denmark. When I’m with my family, we share a common background story and, even though I’ve grown up on the other side of the world, we share the same values and the same sense of humour. It doesn’t take long before we’re all singing and laughing. It’s wonderful.

Agent J is kinda like that as well. My family has known him since he was born. Our paths have crossed several times, in a couple of countries. We’ve seen bad stuff and good stuff. We’ve been in tight situations and had lots of fun.

I’ve saved him from getting in a couple of fights and he’s taken me to amazing places like Gibraltar.

It certainly was never dull.

Feeling Connected

To hear his voice again after so many years, well I don’t really know how to describe the feeling. It made me feel lighter, younger. I was happy to hear his voice. We fell into the old pattern of joking and kidding around with each other just as we’d always had. We must have talked for about 30 minutes or so before we wrapped it up.

“I’m thinking of coming over for a visit with my uncle. Perhaps you wouldn’t mind my stopping by and saying hello?” he asked. “Are you kidding! Of course not. We’ll have good food and cold beer waiting,” I replied.

That Lacking Feeling

After I hung up, I started to cry.

Hearing Agent J’s voice reminded me of all the fun we had and how much I missed him. Missed that free spirited sense of fun and adventure we always shared.

I used to be fun but I’m not having a whole lot of fun in my life right now. Life has become far too serious lately, filled with adult worries and responsibilities and not nearly enough childishness or adventure.

What the heck happened?

There really is no one to blame but myself. I’ve let myself get “old”.

I rarely go out, friends don’t call. I used to play music and sing. I used to go out to theatres and events. Now I just stay at home on the couch.

It’s pathetic really. All I do is work, cook, clean and sleep. That’s it. Nothing more.   No wonder I got sick. If you don’t have something to look forward to when you get out of bed in the morning, what’s the point?

The scary part is that I can see my malaise reflected in my kid’s behavior. He should be out with his friends, riding bikes, laughing. Instead he sits inside with me. He calls his friends on a Sunday afternoon and they’re all out doing something. He just sits around.

Clearly things need to change for both of us. Everyday routine can bring a person down but that makes the need for scheduling fun stuff even more important.

Summer has arrived and our schedules are more open. Time to start living again.