Tag Archives: Grief

loss and the aftermath

04/28/15
Pink Ribbon

The Big C – Take 2

The Big C – Second Time Around

Some things are not good the second time around.  Cancer is one of them.

April, on the Damp Coast, is cancer month.  So for the whole month of April there are events, fund raisers, people begging for money on behalf of all things related to cancer.  For me, it’s very irritating.  I understand the need for people to try to do something about a disease that makes people feel completely helpless.  But my experience is that it seems all the money collected doesn’t always make it down to the patient level.

I’ve had cancer twice.

Continue reading →

03/9/15
Forget those

Where are your Friends when the going gets tough?

Where are your friends when ya need ’em?

I get by with a little help from my friends

Ringo Starr

Why is it that when a woman is going through a tough spot, people leave her alone?

Yet, when a man is going through a tough ordeal, people rally round him.  They bring him food, they offer to make him dinner, they clean his house.

The Evidence 

I’ve seen this first hand.

When a friend died, people tripped over themselves to help her husband.  I went over and cleaned his filthy house, made food, helped out with the kids.

Yet when a family friend lost her husband, no one went over to clean her house or made her food.  After a couple of weeks, people stopped calling.  Why? Continue reading →

01/27/15
Depression

The Long Dark of Depression

Depression – Let’s Talk about it

Tomorrow, Bell is sponsoring “Let’s Talk”- an initiative designed to create discussions about mental health.  In recent years several celebrities have come forward to talk about their battles with depression and mental illness.

Unfortunately Robin Williams lost his battle with his dark depression demons.

The Dark

In the dark of winter on the damp coast, it’s easy to feel depressed.  The dark grey is all around you.   It’s dark in the morning when you get up and it’s dark in the afternoon when you go home from work.

Everyone has experience being depressed at some point in her life.  Most of the time you can pull out of it by going out into the sun or doing something you love to do.

But what if nothing helps?  What if you simply cannot bring yourself to do the things you love to do any more? Continue reading →

01/20/15
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

The End of a Marriage

This is the end, beautiful friend, the end.

The Doors

The End

So for my 23rd wedding anniversary, my husband gave me the gift of requesting a divorce.  He actually said, “separation”, but the outcome is the same. This was the end of my marriage.

This old grey mare will be not be going into my golden years, arm in arm with a husband, sharing all the joys and sorrows of the golden years.  Nope, I’ll be making the journey solo.

“I just don’t respect you”

Husband stated he no longer respected me, nor felt that our marriage was worth the effort of saving.  He was unhappy and the only thing he could think of doing to make himself happy was leaving me. Continue reading →

07/2/14
Hands saying Hello

A Call from a Long Lost Friend

A Call from a Friend

I got a call from a long lost friend.   It was perfect timing, I had just come in the door.

As soon as I heard his voice, I knew who it was. Agent J. I hadn’t heard from him in over 5 years, maybe more. And there he was on the other end of the line calling from the other side of the world.

He and I have been friends for decades. Not bosom buddy types but the kind that when we get together it’s like we just saw each other last week. His dad and my dad were buddies which is how we became friends. Continue reading →

03/11/14

Losing a Friend

I lost a friend a while ago.

A younger friend, which made it an even more heart wrenching event for me.

In a moment of attempted jocularity,   I thought, what’s the use of having younger friends if they die before you.

Short yet Long Term Friends

It’s not as if we were longtime friends.  In fact we’d known each other for a very short time.  But once we met, it felt as if we’d known each other forever.  In fact we may have.  Continue reading →